Everyone knows that our community is not as vast as our straight counter parts, and because of this we may find ourselves intermingling from time to time. This of course can spark a myriad of different situations. Some may experience discomfort, disappointment, happiness, isolation, or even physical altercations.
My question is this. What sort of protocol does one follow when invisible lines are crossed, or tangled? People aren't property, even though we'd like to think of them as such. Despite our personal feelings, when will we come to terms with the fact that people come into our lives for different reasons, and most times they weren't made to be kept in one way or capacity for the entirety of that time.
I've seen friendships fade, war declared, and even battle royale due to misunderstandings or light being shed on past and current loves being had by another. I've come to terms with the fact that in my lifetime Ive probably dated, and will date at least a few people some of my associates have or will date. Its the inevitable, and I'm fine with it.
Admittedly there may be initial discomfort, but I'd eventually get over it, like I would most anything. I think we, especially as women in our community need to come to this realization as well. No need to kick up ruckus w/ the next man because of love lost. Or to be salty, we've all played the game, and it doesn't stop with the here and now. Shit just keeps spinning.
I've seen too many enemies made over dames. We're isolated enough already to create problems within. At the age of 15 when my grandmother found out I liked women, she told me not to bother. "Women are crazy enough alone, why be in a situation as a unit? You'd just kill each other". Sadly I see us gnawing at each other with the cattiness, and the snide behavior on a regular. We can do better. So yeah, we may be intertwined from time to time, but we can deal a lot better. Pairing up isn't the end all be all. Let's stop acting like it is.
If you consider someone a friend...you should definitely take into consideration how they would feel about you dating their ex...if the friend is in opposition then you should evaluate ACCORDINGLY...lose a friend? or date someone that may or may not be there...
ReplyDeleteI think the most important thing that we all must consider is how we talk about or make reference to other women. We should not speak negatively or comment on someone's character UNLESS it's necessary...if EBONY HAS
PROVED TO BE A THEIF OR PATHOLOGICAL LIAR you may want to disclose that...however you should refrain from deframing Ebony's character because your girlfriend decided to sleep with her...
Its a small world in general...even smaller in the lesbian community...so let's all take that into consideration and conduct ourselves accordingly...and MATURELY
Crossing lines, invisible or tangible, for personal gain or allowing them to cross you as a result of apathy is only as serious an offense as the relationship it treads upon. In life, no matter the size of the circle, stepping on toes is inevitable; the key is understanding that everything dirty doesn’t have to be messy.
ReplyDeleteGood point P. Craig, the key word here is "friend" note I mentioned "associates". The two are very distinct and different. One has a less amount of responsibility than the other.
ReplyDelete