Monday, July 4, 2011

P.I.L.T.B


Places I’d like to bone: Chicago Edition


With fornication on the forefront of my mind most days I figured I share a peak into “Ye Ol Dirty Brain” therein lies some of the most illicit, scandalous, filthy yet genius ideas known to man. Most of which Id be more than happy to demonstrate, but having a boo thang these days makes that a wee bit difficult.

Nonetheless it seemed fit to compile a list of places where you too can get it cracking. Add a taste of spontaneity to your lives. Grab your girl, dip, or breezy and give it whirl. The following would prove to be quite interesting if given the right “can do” attitude.


The Elysian Hotel

The entry to this place makes me feel like a 19th Century Baron. The sculptures that meet your eyes upon arrival are gorgeous. Sexy chandeliers hover above you, and you haven’t even reached your room yet! The real kicker is the bathroom. Italian marble from floor to ceiling is serious eye candy. I drooled just looking at it. All I could see was splashing featuring slippery bodies in my mind, but again I’m kind of a dirt bag. This premiere destination doesn’t come without a hefty price tag. You’ll have to dish out a pretty penny to get kinky in these sheets (which are 450 thread count, just saying) rates start from $355 a night. Felling frisky?

11 East Walton Street
Chicago
, IL 60611
(312) 646-1300

UIC Pavilion Parking Lot (Top Lot)

Ok I’m sure I’ve provoked a bit of intrigue with this one, but the top of this parking lot offers excellent views of the surrounding city. If you get there at just about nightfall, and everyone’s cleared out the lot after the last event you’ve got yourself a gem of an experience. At the very least you will have created the sexiest rendezvous your mate has had in a long while. Pop her on the hood of the car and show her how awesome the skyline can look post coitous.  

525 South Racine Avenue
Chicago
, IL 60607-3303
(312) 413-5740

The Violet Hour

I’m reluctantly writing about this one. This has to be one of the sexiest lounges in Chicago hands down, and I’m truly hesitant to share it. The outside of it makes it easy to miss, but once you walk through the doors you’re transported back in time to the pre prohibition era where the cocktails are strong and the lighting is low. You can hardly see anyone else in this UBER intimate setting heavily cloaked by dark velvet drapes, and high back club chairs that shield you from peering eyes. Have a few drinks, and play a little footsy. Tell your date to wear a skirt, and get creative. Fun times are sure to follow! Be very aware that entry is a gift, so if you’re not presentable you’ll get turned away.

1520 N Damen Ave
Chicago
, Illinois 60622
(773) 252-1500


I’m no “sexpert” but I do enjoy a good time, and producing the “wow factor” so if you’re feeling randy, and would like to try something new, come up with a personal list. The options are limitless!

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